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Last five years don't count because I had my fingers crossed, says Sunak

RISHI Sunak has asserted that his last five years in government, covering his time as chancellor and prime minister, do not count because his fingers were crossed. 

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This election needed twatting up. Enter me

THERE’S one thing this general election is a bit light on: huge twats. That’s why I’ve decided to return to the fray.

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