Dear Holly, My life is so rubbish right now and I need some advice about how to drag myself out of a rut. The main issue is my image and self-esteem. Aside from being rather podgy, I just don't know how to dress myself to look sexy. If a stained Wet Wet Wet T-shirt teamed with blue BHS jeans and a bum-bag were the height of fashion then I'd be laughing, but unfortunately this doesn't seem to be the case in my local wine bar. I've started watching image self-help programmes fronted by vacuous homosexuals, but so far I've not made much progress in improving my look. Can you help? Siobhan, Cleethorpes

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