Shit-shoveller to keep job until all the shit is shovelled

THERESA May is allowed to keep her position as universally loathed shit-shoveller until the shit is shovelled, the Conservatives have confirmed.

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"I am teaching my child a crucial life lesson by completing his Lego card album"

MY son has stopped giving a shit about his Lego card album, and actually I couldn’t be happier.

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