The guide to pretending you've got a f**king clue what's going to happen

NOBODY has a bloody clue what is going to happen in December’s election, and it’s pointless pretending otherwise. Here’s how you can:

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Johnson to campaign on leaving EU on October 31st no matter what

BORIS Johnson is to centre his election campaign around his do-or-die promise that Britain will leave the EU on October 31st this year.

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