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This election needed twatting up. Enter me

THERE’S one thing this general election is a bit light on: huge twats. That’s why I’ve decided to return to the fray.

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Birdwatching, and other hobbies suited to people who've given up on ever getting laid

ABANDONED all hope of getting a shag? Fill your time with one of these cripplingly dull hobbies where your lack of sexual charisma will see you fit right in.

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