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'Who will take my money?' cries despairing Farage on high street with duffel bags of cash

NIGEL Farage has been seen staggering up provincial high streets carrying duffel bags of banknotes searching for a bank that will accept him. 

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'Friends is good too', says sad man with erection

A DISAPPOINTED man with a fading erection has begun listing all the positives of their maintaining a platonic friendship. 

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