Dear Sir Keir, my speech went down so well I was worried I'd won Britain round. Then I remembered they're nutters

5th October 2022

SERIOUSLY worried I’d been too successful out there, Sir Keir. They were clapping every other sentence of my big speech. Then I remembered: they’re nutters.

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How sex doesn't work in a long-distance relationship

4th October 2022

LONG-DISTANCE relationship? You can’t have sex if you’re not in the same place. Shag someone local.