'Here you are, Mr Trump. We have invaded Greenland to give it to you'

By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist who proposes any pub with a thatched roof should be exempt from drink-driving laws

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Five fruitless ways to keep the spark alive after you've had a baby, with the Mash sex columnist

LOVEMAKING can be neglected when you’re attending to the needs of a screaming fountain of piss and drool who looks like your bald uncle Paul, but smaller. 

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