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The Archbishop of Canterbury on... going without a shit for three days to see f**king Coldplay

WAKING up in a puddle of very stale vomit, possibly mine, possibly Gloria Hunniford’s, I look back fondly on a several-month-long alcoholic ‘binge’. My complete absence from public life prompted concerns about my health, but these I assuaged by issuing a photograph of myself in my briefs, clearly in the rudest of health. 

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A white home counties roadman's bruv actin' like Snoop Dogg coz him's been to Hamsterdam

FOURTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, has snubbed his best friend Drilla for going to Amsterdam and behaving like a gangsta.

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