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The Archbishop of Canterbury on... seeing the back of Nadine pissing Dorries

WAKING in a police cell, cassock stained and mitre askew, reeking of baby oil, poppers and papaya-scented lube, I piece together events. 

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'He's so inspiring,' I told my wife. 'I cannot believe you found a leader even shorter than you,' she agreed

From the diary of Rishi Sunak, Europe’s second-shortest leader

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