Subscribe

The Archbishop of Canterbury on... the bastard pig filth

WAKING in a palatial chamber after a convivial evening at Clarence House, I find myself locked in the warm embrace of a woman purring sweet nothings. 

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive stories

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now
Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

'Is that a sword?' I ask. 'Like it? It's new,' says Penny, tossing her hair

From the diary of Rishi Sunak, Britain’s technical prime minister

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive stories

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now
Next story ›