Transcript of a press conference about whether President Trump sharted, 5-2-26

5th February 2026

LEAVITT: Okay, everyone sit down, settle down. Any liberal media in here? You’re already wrong and what you write about this is lies. Good? Good.

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A 20p banana: six sex toys for every budget, with the Mash sex columnist

2nd February 2026

EVERYONE deserves love, and everyone deserves the battery-powered plastic love aids that come with it. But spending £100 only to discover you don’t like it up you? Painful.