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What Boris Johnson's divorce speech was like, based on his resignation speech

GOOD afternoon family. It is clearly the will of your mother that she should be the new head of the household and effectively your new father. 

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'They can't put a mother of two out on the streets,' I said. 'Soon-to-be single mother,' said that cow Dorries

From the diary of Carrie Johnson, Britain’s First Lady: 

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