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Berbatov To Spend Rest Of Season Drinking Absinthe

DIMITAR Berbatov will spend the next eight months sipping absinthe from a jade goblet after completing his 90 minutes of effort for the season.

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Psycho Midgets To Become Undercover Choirboys

VIOLENT, handsome midgets are to pose as choirboys in radical new measures against predatory priests, it has been announced.

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