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Capello Unveils Squad Of Mutant Rooneys

FABIO Capello has dropped 29 players from his provisional World Cup squad in favour of a side comprised entirely of mutant Wayne Rooneys.

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Britain To Make Its Own Booze From Leftover KFC And Pizza Crusts

BRITAIN has vowed to beat any alcohol price hike by distilling its own booze from junk food leftovers.

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