England has no idea what to do if it wins World Cup

HAVING built its identity on football-related self-pity, England has no clue how it will react if it beats Spain on Sunday.

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'If you haven't passed your A-levels, you're f**ked for life' celebrities reassure teenagers

CELEBRITIES have taken to social media to reassure 18-year-olds that A-levels are crucial and without good grades they will never achieve anything.

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