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I'd Rather Sell Ronaldo To Gypsies, Says Fergie

SIR Alex Ferguson has dismissed claims Cristiano Ronaldo is heading for Real Madrid, insisting he would rather sell the winger to gypsies or travelling circus folk.

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Britain Now Entertained By Absolutely Anything

BRITAIN is now easier to entertain than a two month-old baby or a chimpanzee, it was confirmed last night.

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