Subscribe

Liverpool To Replace Gerrard With Petri Dish

RAFAEL Benitez planned for Liverpool’s future yesterday by buying a petri dish full of human DNA for £2m.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Asda guarantees its customers will be uglier than you

SUPERMARKET giant Asda has launched a new campaign pledging to maintain the least attractive customer base in Britain.

Checking article access…

Next story ›