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Newcastle Fans To Resume Inexplicable Self-Confidence

NEWCASTLE United fans resumed their adorable self-confidence last night by insisting their team was on course to win the Premier League next year without conceding a single goal.

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'Intelligent' Gorillas Still Unable To Build Time-Travelling Delorean, Say Experts

GORILLAS who display signs of human-like emotions and reasoning are still no closer to building a Delorean that can travel through time, experts have claimed.

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