Subscribe

Rooney Sex Tape In Hands Of Insect-Stroking Ultra-Villain

A DEMENTED albino billionaire is threatening to beam images of a rutting Wayne Rooney into every home on Earth unless he is handed control of the world’s nuclear arsenal.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Boxing A Metaphor For Cocaine, Says Hatton Loudly

RICKY Hatton has insisted that the whole sport of boxing is geared toward cocaine use, right down to its ruinous affects on nasal septums.

Checking article access…

Next story ›