Sport

THE shortlist for the new Reading manager includes ennui, empathy and a sense of unfulfillable longing.

THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.

A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.

BRADFORD City celebrated its 5-0 thrashing yesterday by comparing its season to Arsenal’s.

LIVERPOOL’S fairytale adventure in Europe was scripted by Ken Loach, the club has revealed.

FOOTBALLERS have become sentient enough to cheat properly, it has been claimed.

ENGLISH football could soon be as impressive as everything else that is run by the government, it has emerged.

BRENDAN Rodgers has confirmed that getting beaten by Oldham was exactly what he had intended.

ANYONE pontificating on Eden Hazard will be kicked quite hard in the upper-torso, it has been confirmed.