Dear Holly,My girlfriend has terrible flatulence. You’d think that a young lady would have the manners to hold it in, but she has clearly become far too familiar and even thinks it’s funny to force my head under the covers and shout ‘smell the beef’ whenever she lets one go in bed. All I can think of these days is how to escape the next blast from her enormous winking anus. How can I get her to use her bottom for good instead of evil?Simon,Winchester 

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