Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,I’ve been doing some flirting with Steve from accounts recently: letting him see a flash of nipple at the water cooler, or a hint of gash as I uncross my legs during team meetings. He said to me the other day: ‘leave me the hell alone, Lesley, this is sexual harassment and if you do not stop I will be forced to make a formal complaint about you’, but I know he’s just playing hard to get. Do you think it’s too forthright to make a grab for his cock and balls in the staff canteen?Lesley,Torquay 

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)Many people imagine how it’ll end for them – charging into battle surrounded by brothers in arms, diving in front of a speeding car to save the life of a loved one, or trampled by a bull in Pamplona? All I’m going to say to you is ‘anal trauma’.

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