Dear Holly,It’s coming up to the annual festive charity bake-off at my church, and, as usual, the competition is incredibly tough. Thankfully, this year the three-times champion, Judy Butters is laid up in bed with burst piles, and so I finally have a chance to grab the top spot with my choco-banana muffins. The only problem is that Hilda Corkington is also gunning for the trophy, and she’s already the reverend’s favourite thanks to her constant brown-nosing, so she might well pip me to the post. I was thinking of scuppering the bitch’s chances by swapping her sugar for salt, or tampering with her oven so it burns her cakes and possibly also gives her face a nasty scald. I know I am dreadful, but I really want to win the Daniel O’Donnell tickets. Whatever am I to do?Felicity,Lincolnshire

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