Subscribe

Star Wars VII will be mostly black screen and Andy Serkis voiceover

STAR Wars: The Force Awakens will be  33 per cent black screen with Andy Serkis intoning portentous statements.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

U2 skips straight to reunion tour

U2 will skip an inevitable decade of falling sales, a split and solo albums by going directly to the long-awaited reunion tour, it has been announced.

Checking article access…

Next story ›