Subscribe

Seven household objects I have f**ked while under house arrest. By Andrew Tate

MY pick-up techniques are foolproof, but it’s hard to meet women when you’re under house arrest. Undeterred, here are seven inanimate objects I’ve shagged recently.

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Storm Lilian hitting areas with poor GSCE results

STORM Lilian is bringing gales and heavy rain to areas that have underperformed in their GCSEs, meteorologists have confirmed.

Checking article access…

Next story ›