The Archbishop of Canterbury on... why nobody should be in the f**king Eurovision Song Contest

16th February 2024

WAKING up in a cryogenic freezing machine, I lift the lid and wonder at what point in the future I have arrived.

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive stories

£0 first month

One Month for Free
£3 per month thereafter

Start Trial Now

Already have an account? Sign in HERE

Haha, the thumbs-up emoji and other texts people send when they don't fancy you back

15th February 2024

A TEXT reply from your crush should show barely-concealed longing and lust. So why are yours bland placeholder messages? Here’s what people text back when they’re just not feeling it.