Subscribe

Why Sydney Sweeney is in fact mid, by your girlfriend

By Hannah Tomlinson, aged 34, flat-chested and brunette with glasses in the way that you claimed you liked women to be, Tom

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

I calculate enough Brexiters have died for me to get away with this, says Starmer

THE prime minister has reassured Britain he has carefully studied acturial tables charting death rates before making a deal with the EU. 

Checking article access…

Next story ›