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Do you look like a cheap whore? A guide for paranoid women going to New Year's parties

NO-ONE wants to look as if they’re selling sexual services at a New Year’s gathering, so if you’re a woman paranoid about her outfit use our checklist: 

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Man watching Hootenanny alone starts wanking to see if it's possible to sink lower

A MAN who is home alone watching Jools Holland’s Hootenanny on New Year’s Eve has begun masturbating as a challenge to himself to sink even lower. 

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