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'There's more of a friendship vibe': Seven ways to say you don't want to shag someone

DATING is hard. And saying outright you don’t want to have sex with someone is brutal, so use a feeble excuse instead. Here are some excellent ones.

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Mid-wank, and other times the mobile phone emergency alert will go off

WILDFIRES and floods do not happen on schedule, so expect the government’s mobile phone emergency alert to go off at inconvenient times. Such as these:

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