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Muslim Women 'Must Dress Like Top Gear Presenters'

BRITISH Muslim women should trade their Burkas for the jeans, blazers and incongruous hair favoured by the hosts of Top Gear, it was claimed last night.

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Retirement Plan Welcomed By Demented, Half-Blind 84 Year-Old Heart Surgeon

BRITAIN’S craziest, half-blind, octogenarian heart surgeon was looking forward to returning to work last night after the government abolished retirement.

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