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Our Children Can't Hold Their Booze, Admit Northerners

PARENTS in the North say they are 'deeply shamed' after new figures revealed their children are lightweights, unable to handle a proper session.

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Asda Welcomes Shoeless, Pyjama-Wearing Freaks

SUPERMARKET chain Asda is targeting its Spring campaign at the shambling underclass looking for bargains in their nightclothes.

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