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Teenage Lives Complete As Grand Theft Auto Fills Gap Between Bouts Of Frenzied Masturbation

TEENAGE boys across Britain are celebrating after discovering a successful method of marking time between energetic masturbation sessions.

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Marriage Over, Say Her Knees

GWYNETH Paltrow’s four-year marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin is over, the Hollywood star’s knees revealed last night.

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