Work

WISTFULLY staring at manual workers imagining they have it easier than you? Any one of these good, honest careers would cause your underpaid limbs immense pain.

DUE to my six-figure income and shrewd investments I have close to a million in my pension scheme. Should I give up work, or am I content with showing off in this article?

A TWO-HOUR Monday morning meeting has ended with all participants drained, shaken and unable to explain what went on.

BRITAIN ain’t what it used to be, mate. You can’t get a GP appointment, the bin collections are fortnightly and you can’t get a decent job without being ‘fired’ for ‘fraudulent expenses’.

HOT people may be pleasant to look at, but that does not entitle them to work in any job they like. In fact they’re best banned from these roles:

BORED at work? Have you considered hating one of, or all of, your co-workers for reasons they would consider petty but you call unforgivable? This should get you started.

RESEARCH has found that the older you are, the guiltier you feel about taking time off sick. And it can definitely cause some deeply irrational thoughts, like these:

MEN in offices have explained to their superiors that today is also a bank holiday if you are sufficiently into football.