Kojak In The Attic

Whaddaya know, Mr and Mrs Patterson want to raise three big ones so they can enjoy a self-catering Hoseasons boating vacation on the Norfolk Broads. It’s not my cup of tea, coochie-coo – the only broads Theo Kojak’s interested in are the ones who make my eggs over easy and keep my side of the bed warm at night, capice?

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Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly, I think maybe my wife is keeping something from me because she’s been acting really weird of late. She’s started spending all her free time with a close female friend, even staying over some nights. She’s also changed her appearance, having cropped her hair, acquired a tattoo and several facial piercings and has swapped her usual twin set and pencil skirt for trousers. Whenever she’s home, more often than not she’s glued to an episode of Bad Girls or Lip Service, or listening to the latest Pink album. I can’t for the life of me work out what is wrong with her, and wondered if you might be able to help. Do you think it’s the menopause?Geoffrey,Hampshire

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