Subscribe

The things about Britain's shit trains that won't be changing, by Grant Shapps

RAIL franchises are being scrapped, but rest assured you’ll still be getting the shitehouse train service that is every Briton’s birthright. These things won’t change:

Checking article access…

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

You're ruining this for me

DO you know how long I’ve wanted to be prime minister? My whole life. And I finally get here and what happens? You, the British people, seem determined to ruin it. 

Checking article access…

Next story ›