Subscribe

I spent a single afternoon with Penny Mordaunt and now I'm gay for her forever

By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist slightly to the right of Hitler

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive stories

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now
Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aries, March 21st–April 19th

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive stories

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now
Next story ›