The Archbishop of Canterbury on... JK Rowling doing time in Wizard Prison

8th March 2024

WAKING up naked atop the tomb of Mother Teresa, clutching an empty bottle of overproof rum and boasting a raging erection which I think impressed even the nuns who flocked to the scene, I realise I have a little explaining to do in order to preserve ecumenical harmony.

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Five great two-month breaks for secret lizard people, by the Princess of Wales

7th March 2024

KATE’S absence from public life has led to dreadful tittle-tattle and rumours, but the mundane truth is simply that she’s reverted to lizard form. Here she reveals her favourite places to visit as a reptile.