Sport

ENGLAND supporters have told Monday where it can stick it.

SEPP Blatter has finally acknowledged that extra monitoring is needed to regulate what comes out of football commentator’s mouths.

ROY Hodgson has congratulated his side for winning Euro 2012 after misunderstanding how the tournament works.

WAYNE Rooney has recruited David Nalbandian to give him tips on lashing out ahead of Tuesday’s match against Ukraine.

FOOTBALL cameramen have asked for more pay to continue filming attractive female spectators.

ENGLAND’S opening Euro 2012 game against France has taught fans what cheroot­-smoking philosophers have been going on about all these years.

PAUNCHY company director and Olympic sponsor Stephen Malley is the world's fastest sprinter, it has emerged.

THE inconsiderate park football season got off to a flying start this weekend, with a record number of picnics ruined.

A NEW type of predictable pundit platitude software is to be tested at England's forthcoming game against Belgium.

JOHN Terry's single-handed capture of the Champions League trophy was especially for John Terry, it has emerged.