Science & Technology

A PLANET with two suns is likely to be filled with poor quality dialogue, astronomers have claimed.

THE benefits of laughter pale into insignificance compared to the well-being generated by punching a clown in the face, according to new research.

ASTRONOMERS have discovered a habitable planet that we can all just go and live on when we break the Earth.

AS a man was jailed for internet abuse, everyone with a computer has spent the last 12 hours frantically deleting as much as they possibly can.

THE world's first glow-in-the-dark cat was not the result of a kick-arse Moroccan bong, scientists have insisted.

MORK from Ork will blast your face off unless you reduce your average fuel consumption to 62 miles per gallon, scientists have warned.

THE decomposing corpse of a mystery creature is likely to remain unidentified after experts refused to go anywhere near it.

PEOPLE who own cutting-edge smartphones remain inexplicably pathetic, it has emerged.

PEOPLE with the browser Internet Explorer were last night told they were using it to 'explore' the 'internet'.

INTERNET users will be forced to reveal details of their pathetic lives in a new drive to stop them being ghastly.