Politics

DAVID Cameron's enterprise czar sparked outrage last night after being absolutely right.

UNMISSABLE daytime shows like Bargain Hunt will be ordered off air by the government to encourage millions to return to work.

A GROUP of Labour MPs has written to the German government demanding a posthumous pardon for Joseph Goebbels.

THE British National Party was founded as a charity to help nurse poorly hedgehogs back to health, lawyers studying the party's constitution have found.

THE government's spending review was last night welcomed by wily old men who organise gangs of cheeky pick-pockets.

GORDON Brown will have a late breakfast, watch some afternoon telly and then take a nice long bath while George Osborne is kicking your bastarding teeth down your throat, it has been confirmed.

SUPPORTERS of David Miliband will today launch a concerted effort to destroy the leadership of Ed Miliband whether either of them likes it or not.

ED Miliband is to organise a really great anti-apartheid disco that will get everyone totally motivated.

WHEN Vince Cable bangs his little fists and stamps his little feet he is just the cutest thing in the world, bankers said last night.

THE Labour leadership contest has been blown wide open after the shock return of Stryker, the secret Miliband brother.