Sport

ARSENAL'S Cesc Fabregas is to stage a solo 'slut-walk' after Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola accused him of wanton teasery.

FORMULA 1 bosses have been urged to make their multi-million pound cars slightly more adaptable than a 10-year-old Nissan Micra.

LIVERPOOL manager Kenny Dalglish has defended his decision to spend £8m on a bag of crisps and a can of Irn Bru.

ANDY Murray will be remembered as the guy Rafael Nadal usually beat before he beat Roger Federer in the French Open final, it was confirmed last night.

OLYMPICS ticket applicants have been posted an elliptic set of messages that will eventually reveal what sport they will be watching.

HERCULE Poirot has been asked to deduce why that thing in the news about Fifa matters in the slightest.

FABIO Capello has responded to Michael Owen questioning his exile from the England squad by burning him a DVD of the last five years of his career.

TEAMS relegated on the final day of the Premier League season will only be replaced by different ones, it has emerged.

WITH the Premier League season about to climax over the nation's grateful visage, one's thoughts turn to those for whomst shame and sorrow will become constant companions.

WALES is to come face to face with fire on a stick.