Arts & Entertainment

THE musical Grease is absolutely disgusting, a new generation of parents has suddenly remembered.

AUTHOR JK Rowling last night reacted angrily to claims that she has been seen smiling.

CHANNEL Four finally agreed to stop the US comedy Friends last night after accepting that most people are now able to watch entire episodes inside their own heads.

THE government is to lift 300,000 London children out of severe poverty by staging the world's biggest production of Oliver!.

AN EIGHT-year old chimp named Boko will direct the follow-up to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes after his debut was rated as more coherent than Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.

FREAK-wrangler Simon Cowell last night said he was 'thrilled at the prospect' of defiling newly discovered alien civilisations.

RICKETS Hero II has overtaken World of Ricketscraft to become Britain's most popular computer game.

THE future of the BBC should be based on a culture of making good programmes instead of rubbish ones, according to a leading think tank.

CHANNEL Four is facing fresh controversy over plans for a gameshow where celebrity cage-fighter Alex Reid takes on some of the planet's most endangered species.

CHANNEL Four last night offered Jonathan Ross £15m a year to bring some 80 year-old men to a shuddering orgasm.