Society

A FLOOD of juice and poo-based legal cases was predicted last night as Britain's three year-olds attempt to ruin each other in court.

AS numbers of older women seeking young male flesh spiral, boys are being warned that they are nothing like the ones on the internet

ENORMOUS 1p-a-pint student drink bender clubs should be less haphazard affairs, a judge has warned.

THE latest stage of the digital TV switch over caused havoc in the North West yesterday as terrified viewers feared the death of the 'Unblinking Eye' that sits in the corner of their living room.

PROTESTERS outside a play depicting Jesus as a transsexual, last night insisted the Son of God was a six foot four, rugby-playing, sexual dynamo.

BRITAIN'S oiks were last night on the brink of surrender.

AS statistics reveal 50% of teenage girls want cosmetic surgery, a collective of teenage boys has said they'd happily finger them just as they are.

BNP lunatic Nick Griffin has been banned from the Sellafield nuclear plant amid fears he could make Britain's electricity all racist and homophobic.

STRIKE action by BA staff may force thousands of passengers to spend Christmas with their unbearable families, it emerged last night.

JUST say whatever it was you were going to say and then let's see what happens next, Twitter users warned last night.