Society

THE British National Party's annual appearance on Question Time is set to become the new festive season for Guardian readers.

A FRENCH court's decision to fine the Church of Scientology for making outrageous promises based on absolutely nothing last night sent shockwaves of fear through the world's major religions.

THE 2011 census will be ever so mucky, ministers pledged last night.

INDEPENDENT faith schools have been warned that differing types of voodoo must be taught with the same accuracy as their own brand of mojambo.

NEW supermarket till robots could start bitching about the human race behind our backs, according to artificial intelligence experts.

NEW fathers are failing to use their legal entitlement to paternity leave because they do not want to spend all day with a noisy shit fountain, according to new research.

THE Gaytrack 400, the gayest-looking boys' bike ever, will help children to gain valuable self-defence skills, the manufactuers have claimed.

BRITISH children should be taught things by trained professionals in some sort of large building, according to a major new report.

LAW firm Carter-Ruck is to send you a letter telling you to shut it right now or they will have your house.

THE government is to pay the unemployed to hang around shopping centres pretending to be clinically insane, it emerged last night.