Society

THE heart-warming sight of an old-fashioned burglar smashing a toilet window could soon be swept away by a rising tide of joyless online fraud, according to some of Britain's leading thieves.

THE Archbishop of Canterbury has underlined the Church of England's support for tolerance and diversity with plans for a 'supergay' parade float.

SHAMED police chief Ali Dizaei's attempt to frame an innocent man was littered with 'schoolboy errors', his former colleagues said last night.

A QUIET, middle-aged science fiction and traction engine enthusiast has advertised his virginity for £6 or nearest offer.

MOST mobile phones are now more intelligent than their teenage owners, it emerged last night.

TAXI drivers in Southampton have installed signs reassuring passengers they speak nasty, ill-informed horseshit.

GROWING numbers of men are finding male chest cleavage sexually appealing, according to new research.

PEOPLE who are opposed to assisted suicide are still absolutely convinced that it is any of their business, according to a new survey.

PARENTS in the North say they are 'deeply shamed' after new figures revealed their children are lightweights, unable to handle a proper session.

A BAN on poor-quality horror films from the 1980s will stop all the bad things from happening, Tory leader David Cameron has claimed.