Society

SCHOOLCHILDREN across England are to get compulsory lessons on why women are insane.

THE gap between poor people and chickens is at its narrowest since 1945, according to a major international report.

BUSES which carry adverts doubting the existence of God are risking their eternal souls, Christian campaigners said last night.

THE Scout Association is to formalise sexual education by awarding a badge for playing the biscuit game.

WITH unemployment expected to reach three million by the end of next year, economists were last night warning of Billy Bragg.

MOGADISHU has been named the world's hottest destination by a panel of tosspot travel writers.

PEOPLE in the north of England refuse to use to toilet paper believing it will steal their soul, according to new research.

MILLIONS of Britons last night realised the collapse of the banking system meant nothing to them as they have no money anyway.

MINISTERS last night unveiled plans to ban women from getting all drunk and randy.

TEACHERS across the country were last night told to be on the look out for exploding five year-olds.