Society

MAKING soup while driving is incredibly dangerous and should only be attempted after a stiff drink, new research suggests. 

THE government stepped up its battle against alcohol abuse yesterday by dividing drinkers into nine different types of marketing bollocks.

EVERYONE needs to shut it right now because they are making everything worse, according to a new report.

HOUSES across Britain will be fucked beyond repair this weekend as millions embark on their own horrendously ill-condsidered DIY extension.

BRITAIN has thrown open its doors to the next generation of belly dancing hovercraft pilots who know how to train a horse.

FANS of Coldplay are more likely to display the personality traits of unbearable, self-satisfied arseholes, according to new research.

BBC executives have spent more than £10m travelling the world looking for awful television programmes to copy, it has been discolsed.

A MAN'S reluctance to get married is linked to his fear of a lack of oral sex, new research shows.

FIRST-time buyers across Britain are hoping the government can see its way clear to stumping up for a motor as well.

THE economic downturn will lead to a sharp rise in people being arseholes, according to a leaked Home Office letter.