Society

BRITAIN is to abolish its 900 year-old university system after finally realising it is a complete waste of everyone's time.

FEMALE workers are not just there to brighten the place up, they are also increasingly useful, according to new research.

BRITISH children returned to their televisions last night after completing the list of things that can be achieved with snow.

AS winter continues to exist across Britain, a large allegorical predator has been spotted in Cumbria.

BRITAIN'S major retailers have joined forces to create a new shopping-centric deity called 'Spendo'.

PHOTOS of an obese cat in the throes of an endearing fatal heart attack have proved a huge hit on social media.

BRITAIN'S filthiest drunks have begun their erratic stagger toward Parliament in protest over tax increases on high-strength beer.

MILLIONS of Britons were finally told 'no' yesterday.

THE London tube strike has ended abruptly after commuters stormed trains and instantly mastered the controls.

THE single thing that makes Britons happiest is watching others have a total and utter nightmare, according to a new study.